Dating and your Gay

Meet Andy.

Here are some simple things to keep in mind when you start to think about entering the dating world. Especially if you are a hag(as in awesome, not ugly and old). Many gays can be extremely territorial, especially of their upper tier of girls, just ask my wife, or my hag, I am down right nasty. I do not like competition, not that any of the men my girlies have brought around have been worthy opponents, and I especially do not like boys trying to take my girls. I have gotten better with this, but you need to keep a few things in mind when dealing with your gay. 

1. We always come first. Your gay was there before your man, and will still be there when he leaves. 

2. Your gay is not to be ignored. There is nothing I hate more then being blown off, so you can have a date. 

3. Include your gay. If you are serious about this guy, then he needs to learn to like your gay. 

4. Listen to your gay. We are pretty smart, we might be bitchy about this new man, but we will not be down right rude unless we are positive he is bad news bears. 

5. Warn your man before introducing your gay. We can be snarky at first, make sure the guy understands this. 

There are the basic rules of dating and your gay. Now here is how I came to these. 

1. I have helped my girls through countless breakups, bad dates and assholes. Gays are forever. I have watched my girls get their hearts broken, and I have also lost girls because they left me behind for a man.  It was sad to see when she broke up with him, and I was not there. But that is how the cookie crumbles. 

2. I despise being ignored. I have been blown off before by the hag for some little thing she tried to pass off as a boyfriend. We did not speak for 3 weeks. Never ever cancel plans with your gay unless you have an amazing reason. To go hiking(who the hell does this anyways) with a new boy is not a legit excuse. 

3. When my hag met her lastest boy(Andy shown above) She had learned and included me early on in the relationship. I think I met Andy like the second date. Because of this early interactions Andy and I have actually been friendly with each other. On the flip side, the hag again did not include me early on in a relationship, and that creature and I hated each other because of it. It caused way to many problems, and it came down to an ultimatum for Becca. He or it. I won. 

4. Again to bring up that creature the hag dated. Lets call him Stefan.  The first time I met him, I got some bad juju from him. Not to mention he was ugly, and acted like he was 5. Because he was a child still. I tried to warn Becca that he was bad news bears. She did not listen. Over a year later of a epic battles(between Stefan and Becca) she finally had enough sense to cut her losses to an extent and move on. 

5. Again with the Hag. She did not warn the creature(stefan) that I was snarky. I made a joke about him being a baby(he was under 21). He took this as an insult, and held a grudge. Me being the lovely person I am kept making little jokes about him for the next year. Needless to say he did not handle this well, and it lead to many battles between the hag and I. But this time Becca learned. She warned Andy early on, and he just rolled with the punches. We have a fun back and forth insult relationship, one that I have with a lot of different guys. He understands that when I say "I am going to wait til you fall asleep and teabag you!" I am just joking, I would not actually do that. 

Lastly, your gay can be wrong sometimes. This is only once in a blue moon, but it can happen. It happened with the wife. I HATED her boyfriend, he was in my opinion the worst human on the planet, mostly because he was coming between the wife and I. He was the cause for the only fight Laura and I have ever had in the 6 years we have known each other. It has taken 3 years of them dating for me to accept him, only because he makes Laura happy. And he accepts the fact I compare him to a weird growth, that you kind of have to accept and live with. 

Remember just because you are dating someone, it does not mean your gay goes away. You and your gay come as a package deal. Your new man will either accept that, or he will move on. Gays are forever, just like diamonds. Men are more like cut flowers, pretty for awhile but eventually they need to be replaced.