Randomness Ensues

Hello world!

I hope you all enjoyed my foray into drunken blogging last night. It was a test to see if that was the kind of direction I wanted to take this blog. I started this blog years ago to be a collection of random life lessons that I was hoping to one day turn into a book. Then it died. Then like a zombie I brought it back to life, but now I think it is time to give this blog a new purpose in life, well undead life. While I will continue to post random life lessons for hags, and aspiring hags, I am also going to post random crap that I find funny, things that irk me, and other crap. I can't promise I am going to continue post regularly, as I am a manic ADHD gay who works crazy hours.  Now for an entertaining text convo between my sister and I about my Ex, being fat, boobs, and using butt fat as lamp oil.




Me: *Ex* is working at Timmy Ho's
Sister:!!!!
Sister:Which one
Me: *Where I live*
SIster:Oh. Precious
Me:...
Sister:Ha!!!
Me: Had to alter my order lol, Did not want to look like a fat kid.
Sister: Hahahaha what do you mean
Me: I got a bagel instead of a panini
Sister:Hahahahaha I'm dying
Me: And an iced coffee with skim instead of a hot chocolate
Sister:Good Idea Don't wanna look like a tubby
Me: You are ridic
Sister: haha YOU are redux
Sister:ridic
Me : I am a sexy 186
Sister: Find a new place to go!
Sister:I know you are scrawny
Me:haha
Sister: that's good. Don't ruin it with hot cocoa. Unless necessary
Me: I am no longer obese according to vim. *BMI
Sister: Well that's a plus
   I teeter between healthy and overweight with my BMI
   Which is distressing
Me: I hate BMI but my Starbucks Active automatically calculates it when I weigh in
Sister: Mmm
Me: And it's all in your Butt
   you should have some of it put in your boobs lol
Sister: yea pretty much
   didn't get them from mom
   I'll just donate my butt fat to goodwill
Me: Or to me. Although I am finally getting a butt
Sister: Use it for Lamp oil or something
   Do enough squats you'll get one
Me: I had a butt, I just had so much back fat it looked flat
Sister: Oh lord
   That's probably true
Me: It's kinda crazy lol. Just my luck I am going to end up built like you
Sister: Maybe!
  You don't really want a bod like this
   Big butt small waist?
   Haha
Me: No not really, I would look funny with A cup boobs
Sister: B cup thank you!
   Puberty hit late
Me: hahaha Congrats
Sister Lol ty.

This is just a usual conversation my sister and I have regularly. Then a few days later she sent me a video of Tellietubbies being dubbed over by a couple of gangsters, and then a site where you can make custom Ugly Holiday Sweaters. The scary thing is she appears to be the normal one when you meet her, then you realize she is a Sneaky Psycho. She just appears normal until you breach the surface and see all the craziness hidden underneath, unlike me who just flaunts the crazy. Well Enjoy this random snap shot into my life.